405 Days and No Longer Counting

From the moment we arrive here in Moldova we are told that one of the most fascinating cultural events we can attend here is a wedding. We are shown videos, told the proper protocol, and given little tidbits of advice on how to conduct ourselves there. I, however, had never had the chance to attend one until last Sunday night, and I must say that is was a cultural scene the likes of which needs to be seen to fully be appreciated.

I was actually invited to the wedding in a round-about way. I had heard talk in my village from my mom and others for about a week that the son of my school director was having a wedding on Sunday, July 15. I, having never meet the bride or groom, was not too worried or concerned about getting an invite, although I have to admit that I secretly held out hope that maybe an invitation would fall my way.

Then last Friday night I went to the one bar here with a friend of mine who came in for the night, and while we were sitting there a girl I know (also the maid-of-honor) came in with her boyfriend (brother of the groom). At one point she came up to me and we chatted a little (I hadn't seen her for a month or so) and she asked me if I was going to the wedding. When I told her that they didn't invite me she looked a little surprise and responded that, indeed, I was invited through the director and the bride (whom again, I'd never met and didn't know at all) were both expecting me. I was a little excited about this but didn't want to get my hopes up. A little later some people I know invited us to come and sit with them and they again asked me about the wedding while I again told them I wasn't invited, a response to which they were incredulous. They turned around and called over the brother of the groom, who again re-iterated that I was invited and that I would receive an invitation the next morning at some point, a statement which confirmed for me that I should be able to show up without an issue.

This point was reinforced the next day, when I asked a half-dozen people if it would be OK for me to go having not received a paper invitation but instead heard from the mouth of the brother. Everyone had the same response – go ahead. It's a village. They don't invite people in the same way we do in America. Mouth-to-mouth is how it's done. And as my friend also told me, I had two choices: 1)Go to the wedding and have a great time, or 2)Stay at home, read, and go to sleep at 11:00 while, because of my proximity to school, I would have been able to hear music from the wedding. That settled it.

It turned out to be, as I alluded to, a great time. What they describe as a 'wedding' in Moldova is what we would describe as a over-the-top reception in America. I showed up at 9:00, met the bride and groom (for the first time), congratulated them, and spent time talking with one of the 2nd graders from my school. People slowly trickled in until about 10:00 or so, when we all went into our school cafeteria to eat (we were waiting in front, outside in a little courtyard, until then). Inside we ate a lot and drank while people gave some toasts, the couple kissed while we chanted something in Russian (I think we were chanting the word 'bitter' but I may be – likely am – wrong on this), and some guy with a microphone walked around and worked the crowd, a scene which carried on until midnight or so, at which time we all went outside and danced and talked with each-other. At 2:30 we all went back inside where we ate again, drank a little more, and people gave gifts, although it should be noted – at weddings people give money. That's almost totally it, with the exception of sheets or other nice clothes. And they do it in a little of an awkward way (it seemed to me) – they go around with a decorated basket and people give a little speech for the bride and groom, at the end of which they announce how much money they are giving before throwing said money into the basket (the winner – 800 dollars, while my gift was 20 because I didn't know the bride and groom, an acceptable sum according to my polling, And I passed on giving a speech). This event went on until 3:00, after which we danced a little more before they started a tradition in which the bride and groom sit on a chair, bride in the lap, and they get placed on them all the clothes or blanket's they they've received (yes, the newlyweds were clearly very hot under everything). It ended with one final circle dance, the cake, and we left. I walked through the door of my house and passed out from exhaustion, having been up at 5:00 in the morning for two consecutive days (more in a second).

Overall, it was a great experience; like I said, the type of event that really needs to be seen to be believed. There was also, amazingly, another American there, some guy from New York who works in Bucharest and knew the groom because the groom studied there for high school and university. I spent a lot of the time talking to other teachers and some of the young people that I know, and I also got about 70 pictures due to the fact that I, in not wanting to busy myself the whole time, gave my camera to one of my 6th graders and told him to go to work, knowing I could just delete anything I didn't like (which led to a great scene at the table the next day in which my host mom and sister talked about who and who wasn't invited and had a running commentary on the outfits of the women).

If there was one mistake I made, it's that I went alone – my host family wasn't invited and I, unsure of my own invitation status, didn't want to bring a guest. While I really liked everything, I kept being cognizant of the fact that it would have been a lot better with a friend. Actually, there's a volunteer here in my regional center with whom I have a deal – we're bringing each-other to any weddings we might be invited to. Actually, there are rumors of her maybe going to a wedding on August 5th. So while I waited 405 days in-country to go to my first wedding, I might have to wait only twenty-one to go to my second.

And I'm already looking forward to it . . .

Notes:
- Last Saturday, the day before the wedding, was also one of the best times I've had in my service so far here. First, at 8:30 my friend and I went to a party at the house of the US Marines who protect the embassy, as they have an absolute mansion near the center of Chisinau where we hung out for a few hours (the ambassador dropped in too). We also met a Moldovan guy whose mom is from Moldova and whose father is from Kenya. He doesn't look Moldovan at all, and not only does he speak fluent English with an American accent, he has a kind-of 'street' accent. He actually had to show us his passport for us to believe him.

But we stayed at the house until midnight or so, after which we all got a ride in their white Suburban to a disco north of the center where, because we were with the Marines, we walked in without a cover and were led right to the prime table in the place. We ended up being there until 5:00AM, when the place closed, spending our time dancing and meeting people. We then took a taxi to our hotel before going to sleep at 5:30 before waking up at 9:30 (thus, I was exhausted after the wedding and promptly until 1:00 in the afternoon).

- All of this followed up a great Saturday featuring an oil-man from Louisiana here in my village. Allow me to explain.

Last Wednesday I got a call from my tutor here telling me that there was going to be an American at our sanatorium and museum here and asking me if I could translate. This being summer and me having no other plan, of course I could. So one of my friends from PC came here on Friday night and on Saturday we both went to meet this American who had come into our midst. Turns out, he's was from south-west Louisiana, and he works in the oil industry; his job is to extinguish fires in wells. Naturally, he's traveled all over the world and told us countless stories from his travels abroad (he's also, due to the lay of the hills and the fact that we apparently have natural striped-limestone in the ground, convinced that there's oil underneath the ground here. He said they'd have to dig a little, 6000-7000 feet, but it's here. Of course, this brought on an onslaught of “Beverly Hillbillies” jokes). Of course, what my friend and I really appreciated was that, because he had rented a taxi for the day, he gave us a lift back to Chisinau with him. This also led to the slightly depressing revelation that in a private car it's an hour and ten minutes to Chisinau, while through public transportation it takes at least two hours.

- As an example of how little there is to do in my village, last Wednesday I spent my entire day reading, to the tune of 320 pages. That includes taking two walks to kill time as well as eating all three meals.

- I've also revolutionized the way I travel, at least in terms of entertainment. I've started downloading Podcasts from ESPN, replays of Pardon the Interruption and Bill Simmons interviews. It might be a little bit of hyperbole to say that it's changed my life, but frankly, it's a little true.

- My favorite part of this week (not including the wedding or the five hours at the disco last Saturday night) was Friday evening. My friend came in at 7:00PM and while we ate we sat around talking and eating with my host grandpa. My friend speak Moldovan so we had a great conversation, drinking beer and wine and sharing questions and answers with host grandpa, who speaks Romanian and Russian both, although I had never heard him speak Romanian until that day.

At one point in the conversation I asked him when the last time was when he spoke Romanian full-time. The answer?

1957.